Ladd, jhagad, aage badh?

Went to Jadhavgadh for lunch with hubby and beti this Sunday. A nice one hour drive from KP where we live with a cute little uphill route thrown in. Nicely restored fort .. good lunch and a tour of the premises which includes a museum. The building that houses the museum reminded me of traditional homes in Kerala somehow...the open courtyard in the middle, etc. unless ofcourse its because I've not visited any ( if there are any) restored or 'converted to hotels' havelis or homes in Maharashtra like I have elsewhere. I know surprisingly little about traditional Maharashtra though I've spent more than half my life here.

"Ladd, Jhagad, Aage badh" is the catchline on the signboards and advertisements for Jadhavgadh. Beat that!

My daughter wanted to know what the word FORT means. I had to explain how rulers and warriors had to build them to protect and defend their lands against attacks by foreigners. They showed us a dungeon where prisoners were sent. I didn't go down the steps, the very sight of it was claustrophobia inducing because it reminded me of another dungeon in some castle in England where we'd seen wrist and ankle clamps on walls to chain prisoners vertically one foot off the floor and other more inhuman instruments of torture. They were left there to die.. with rodents, the cold damp air and hunger for special effects. She then asked me who the "good" men were in this picture and (as happens often when I'm with her) I had no answer.

These were HUMAN BEINGS of yesterday. Some who attacked and some who defended...like territorial beasts . Some who were 'right' and some who were 'wrong' depending on which side of the border you were on when you took down minutes of the war to be recorded as History for posterity. Land, women, wealth, fame. Wonderful things to have at the cost of other lives and one's own moral dignity.

One glimpse at the newspapers today will tell us nothing much has changed. It is still 'Yeh mehlon, yeh takhton, yeh taajon ki duniya" where we fight using the slightest excuse. Where we're constantly comparing one with the other and fighting over differences instead of celebrating them. I am guilty of this too.

My daughter goes to Karate class, I tell her she must learn to 'defend' herself and not be a weakling. She wants to know who she must defend herself against and why. 'Others' I tell her...others that are physically stronger and who might use that physical strength against her someday and also to protect those others who're weak and might need her help. I tell her not to trust everyone who is sweet to her. When she began school I had to tell her not to be too generous with her snackbox unless she has saved enough for herself. She used to come back home, often hungry and with an empty box thanks to other tots her own age, which is sweet in hindsight but wasn't, back then. She's slightly older and smarter but still asks me when I remind her...'Amma, sometimes you tell me it is nice to share, sometimes you tell me I must not...why do you confuse me?" So now she takes a little extra so she can share and still have enough for herself. I ask her to respect the same rules when she's peeping into a friend's snackbox.

How does this work in the larger picture? I don't know.

These days everything seems to push me down some psychedelic philosophical spiral leaving me angry, drained and disillusioned. (Definitely not great company unless you have a couch and charge by the hour....NO..THAT is not what I meant! )

Fences, defences...around hearts, souls, minds, bodies, homes, cities, countries....and so it goes on. We're isolating/insulating ourselves from everything around us because we're afraid of each other on more levels than one. We'll live in fear till we die... par yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai, Lallu?