Party Hooters

There are many instances when I’ve browsed through pictures of friends and family on virtual albums…celebrations, get-togethers. I look at pictures of grown ups laughing out loud with their heads thrown back, arms around each other and wonder if I am socially dysfunctional because I am incapable of hugging and kissing folks I don’t like very much or know…or using endearments casually or throwing my affections around cheaply. I am not apologetic about my selection of words either.

When I meet these folks individually…and our conversations pick up, I find that these pictures I see…the groups in the pictures are not necessarily of people who get along...or respect each other. They size each other up when they walk into the group, are invited and attend because they have a rapport to advertise in certain circles, indulge in inane banter and drink themselves silly. Perhaps they have to, perhaps alcohol numbs their natural instincts to turn and run and ups their tolerance levels. The best part where I would love to be a fly on the wall is the drive back home. This is when all the bitching happens about the party that was.

This kind of social interaction is also called ‘unwinding’ by the way - a stress busting exercise for people who work hard through the week. They work hard so they can afford these parties and be seen in the right clothes with the right people in the right places carrying the right visiting cards, arriving in the right cars. And some people do this every single week[end]!! Amazing!!

My idea of getting together with friends is when I can be my stupid best in my everyday clothes, sitting on the floor with some good music and home-cooked food...and a few drinks for my friends and many genuine laughs. I am so glad I know some people I can still do that with. And for that I am grateful.

Anita Iyer

Whodunit

Hello blog...been a while since I felt compelled to post anything here. Been busy with EKansh...and our new pup Simba!

Recently I read this post about an old folks home on a social networking site...with questions following about those evil offspring who will want to a abandon their parents.

There are also indignant posts about kids whose parents don't give them good values...who badger them for good grades instead of thorough learning, focus on good impressions as against good attitude, ignore needs and cater to luxuries instead. IQ is more important than EQ...why I hadn't even heard of this EQ term till recently. Where the world stops when there is an exam at school. It is about oneself...succeeding, winning the rat race.

A good parent is one who knows what the child's syllabus is - chapter by chapter, line by line. Wake him/her up at midnight and they'll tell you what the child's grades were in the last exam in each subject...even those of the nearest competitors.[You guessed right, dotty's exams are on]. A good parent knows which page of which 'current hot favourite' book the child is on but has no clue which flavour of ice-cream is his/her favourite.

Yes yes, there are gray zones here too..like everywhere else.

And then one day these kids grow up and become involved in the grown up rat race. They have to get ahead...and win. They remember their lesson well - "Focus, don't let anything distract you."

And then some evil offspring dumps his/her parents in an old age home.

Same parents you think??

'What's cooking?' with Mrs. Iyer!

Considering all the 'dance therapy', 'music therapy','laugh therapy', 'walk therapy', 'talk therapy', 'write therapy', 'paint therapy' workshops all around, each with atleast a dozen suckers [what else do you call someone who thinks someone else can make him/her get in touch with him/her-self?]attending, maybe I'll begin a 'cook therapy' group too and charge a 1000 bucks for a 2 hour session. Ofcourse, I already know some people do find cooking therapeutic..so ..

Here's the plan.

When you enter the class, you are led blindfolded to the kitchen where everything you need to cook up a good, fresh meal is laid out in eye-pleasing formation. This is so that you gasp when we remove the blindfold.

Lesson 1- It was all beautiful in the beginning!!

...we then get started with the 'THERAPY'

Positive venting = chopping veggies, grating cheese - also kneading dough.
Blending in = Chutney making, Dosa/Idli batter making.
Relaxation = watching tea leaves in boiling water making wonderful patterns in a deep golden brown.
Aroma therapy ( Optional - chargable) = Ginger and Holy Basil in the tea
Negative Energy release = Exhaling loudly with the whistle of a pressure cooker.
The colors of life= The spices you add to the food
You need a good cry= Chop some onions.
Coping with grief= Realising good food, like life, can be spicy, sugary, salty, sour or bitter. If you have the right proportion of everything, you have it made.
Doing away with excess baggage = Straining cooked rice, keeping only what one needs. [Oh my..I'm getting good at this - should I write and sell a book? I wonder]
Achievement bonus=Sputtering mustard / Cumin seeds and seasoning.

Life is beautiful again = Fresh coriander/Basil/Mint for garnishing.

Now say OM three times with your eyes closed, breathe in very slowly the wonderful aromas rising from the food you just prepared, open your eyes and my main door very slowly and go home. I get to keep the food. Thank you very much.

[Haven't found a replacement for my old cook...sshh]

With all due respect to the genuine therapists...those therapists who are angered and stressed out by my sorry sense of humor will be allowed to attend a session of 'What's cooking' for free.