The mind is intelligent. And the soul is something you force yourself to listen to ...sitting crosslegged, eyes closed..scented candles around...picturing the Himalayas in your 'mind's eye' so you are at peace with the world.Right? ....Well, think again!
Doesn't it surprise you how some people appeal to you at the very first meeting.Why people..even nicknames on the internet. People you've never met...people you may never meet. You feel attached, an affinity that cannot be explained. You feel like you've known them forever.
And then there are those that you can't stand from the word go...you try...you get older...you tell yourself you are wrong in judging and labelling...that those people are probably really nice...and/or only as bad as you are. And you know you can be rotten too...as rotten as anyone else. And then you go out of your way...to try and deal with them the way you try to deal with everyone else...honestly. Sooner or later, you are disappointed.
And it slowly dawns on you. Your soul is more intelligent than your mind. It knows...it recognises what the mind cannot. It has a history, like the soul of the person you form an impression of. The feeling is uncanny...and undeniable. There is something beyond human comprehension. There is that element of Karma. There are things we cannot explain. There are things we mustn't mess with. One such phenomenon is that of THE FIRST IMPRESSION.
And my new year ( late I know...but its just February yet) resolution is never to argue with my soul.
“First impressions are often the truest, as we find (not infrequently) to our cost, when we have been wheedled out of them by plausible professions or studied actions. A man's look is the work of years; it is stamped on his countenance by the events of his whole life, nay, more, by the hand of nature, and it is not to be got rid of easily.”
William Hazlitt quote
13 comments:
Just two points:
If the soul is the ultimate judge of the worth of the person across, then it is not objective....
and I say this simply because who your soul may reject,mine may embrace.
So are we confusing affinity or lack of it for a person with caliber/merit of charecter????
1) First impressions are not conscious ones and I will not attempt to explain them. Subsequent judging of character etc may be deliberate and dictated by the way we're programmed.
2)No, which explains why we aren't always drawn to the 'right' kind of people. The soul doesn't have the same list of merits and demerits as the trained mind.
....aside...
Ofcourse this is purely about my personal observations and experiments at ignoring my 'gut' feelings/instincts/vibes and the personal reaslisation that programming/manipulating the mind to work against what comes naturally and maturing are two different things completely.
There are certain norms and ethics in the societies we live in. Therefore there are adjustments and compromises. Those we make to the best of our abilities depending on our own priorities - again natural or programmed. But I'd rather not let the din outside silence the whisper inside. There are well worn terms like 'selling the soul' used in situations where we let what we percieve as what we WANT taking over what we instinctively KNOW. Whether it is the MAID I need right now or the colleague or neighbor or aquaintance I need to interact with, this rule has always stood the test. When I ignore the first vibes, I end up disappointed - Thumb rule. It is upto me how I handle that disappointment without being offensive.
I like that joke/proverb ( depends on perspective)- I was born intelligent, education ruined me.
You may think differently, ofcourse!
While your experience is your own and there is no point rationalizing about it, you are perhaps its best judge, even if the judgment seems flawed. My question was directed towards your definition of soul in your original post as being the one which should guide to assess the person we encounter.
An individual is the sum total of mind and soul. The soul usually guides the mind and external influences or what you called the outside din cannot perturb the equation for long.
First impressions are just manifestations of the way your subconscious has evolved by subtle influences of your environment and your inherent nature. One may be drawn towards another individual at an emotional, intellectual or some inexplicable level, and later being thinking people we set out to try figure why.
Sometimes conflicts arise, what the intuitive entity may have embraced, the mind would want to reject and sometimes we are fortunate that they are in agreement and sometimes it could happen that the mind urges you to accept something absolutely contrary to what that inner eye has told you. Its wholly a personal choice which call to reject and is necessarily NOT a reflection what is the truth/reality.
Your aside about ethics....selling the soul is unfortunately just a cliched term here .Petty mundane compromises cannot be equated to a complete breakdown of personal ethics/morality.
Again you may think differently of course.
Like I said, it is about what we percieve as important to us. What is petty and mundane might not really require compromises at all. And petty and mundane compromises lead to petty and mundane disappointments but disappointments all the same..
"Selling the soul" is not a 'cliche' here or anywhere else, it was probably coined after much introspection which is why we find so many products/concepts and even people (I'm sure you agree) of amazing intelligence lacking SOUL.
There is no 'flawed' or 'correct' judgement when it comes to first impressions. It is not open to rationalisation at all. That is the beauty of it. If it were, we'd all be gravitating towards the same set of people and that would lead to some pretty comic/tragic situations.
Again, different strokes for different folks
These sometimes strong "first impressions" are not first impressions,if you believe what Dr Brian Weiss says and what the Law of Karma does too...these are actually old impressions that have been carried across births but one that most of us cannot consciously recall. There is no 'objectivity' here...there is Rnanubandhana - karmic debt - that has to be repaid and dissolved
Am tempted to indulge in some 'past life regression' sessions for a strictly academic thrill ...but am not sure it will stay that way or the repurcussions on my 'now'.
"There is no 'flawed' or 'correct' judgement when it comes to first impressions.It is not open to rationalisation at all"
Dont think we disagree there if you revert back to my earlier 2 comments.
"If it were, we'd all be gravitating towards the same set of people... " True.
Where I digress from your viewpoint is the verity of the original claim ,the essense of which is that first impressions are MOSTLY/ALWAYS the correct impressions.
Most ordinary people do not "sell their souls". They compromise in measures...the petty to losing some of their values.
No denying that there exist entities which are nothing more than facades with fathomless emptiness within. Do we really come across them in our circadian journeys..a rarity in my opinion and experience
'Right' is a relative term. This isn't about good people and bad people.
IMPRESSIONS: It is not about JUDGING character. It is about vibrations. And yes, I still claim that personally, these work for me. If I ignore my first vibes for a person, I eventually am disappointed in the equation we strike...at whatever level..irrespective of how 'good' the person is percieved to be by others whose opinions I value.
And,IMHO, yes we ALL sell bits and pieces of our souls to be 'comfortable' and are empty in different spaces. Some more, some less. We wouldn't feel uninspired by most of our interactions with people around us if not for this emptiness we speak of.
What are we filling if there are no blanks?
I would rather say that we are "incomplete" and that is why we seek partners, friends, spouses,companions,alliances..the works!!
Sure, but in the need to find them, there are different levels of compromises every human being makes. Compromise, adjustment, tolerance imply discomfort. Discomfort results in disease. I've said it many times in different contexts. We are programmed to believe we're not complete in ourselves yet everyone who seeks the truth also seeks solitude.
Kehte hain, dost nahi hota harr haath milaane wala.
Coming back to the topic, first impressions work for me. They seem to have worked for many...which is why it is an oft used phrase. Every theory has its detractors. This one does too. :)
Tum taqalluf ko bhii iKhalaas samajhate ho 'Faraz'
Dost hotaa nahii.n har haath milaanevaalaa
Taqalluf - formality
Ikhlaas - sincerity
Aha, Ahmed Faraz
http://www.urdupoetry.com/faraz08.html
When I say "incomplete" it is in in lieu of "empty".
And we are imperfect beings are we not,yearning for that consummate yet impossible wholeness. And paradoxically a part of the journey towards this transcendence involves introspection/solitude as much as fellowship / camaraderie/alliances.
And compromise is at an individual level and may or may not be a part of the package.
"Tum taqalluf ko bhii iKhalaas samajhate ho 'Faraz'
Dost hotaa nahii.n har haath milaanevaalaa "
sahi hai, hame apni samaj ko pukhta banana chahiye (pardon the urdu:-))
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